Channeling Dalia Carella

Instead of channeling spirits from the past, apparently I have the capacity to channel live ones.  This weekend was Z-Helene and Rick Fink's 6th Annual Middle Eastern Troupe Competition and Dalia Carella was not only a guest judge but also taught several workshops.  Now I confess that I know her name and reputation but never took any classes from her and maybe watched a handful of videos of her.  I know that she is immensely talented and well respected in the dance community and that I would be foolish to miss a class with her...especially when it was less than five minutes away from my house.

What I was not prepared for, was how much I loved her class and absolutely LOVED the way she moved.  She's now on my short list for future workshops and classes.  We learned a short choreography to Ghannalli which was not only challenging, but really fun to perform.  The most surprising fact is that today, after sleeping...I remember the whole thing!  Yes, craziness!!!!   I'm great at learning choreographies and pick them up quickly, but rarely do I remember one after a workshop.  My mind only retains pieces that I like, and the rest falls away. And since I don't typically perform another dancer's choreography I never think twice about it.

However, for some reason this one stuck.  So, on a whim I downloaded the music and decided to teach it to my intermediate class tonight. Since most of them performed in the showcase last night, I knew it would be a small group and I thought this would be a treat for the dedicated ones who showed up.  And when I ran through it the first time, they all laughed.  Not because I did a bad job, but they said it was a "Najla" choreography if they had ever seen one.  And , as I broke down each move I realized that so many of them indeed were already in pieces they had learned.  All the way down to certain small kicks and hand flourishes. It was eerie in the similarities.  In fact, it was so eerie that my students had the number down in about 45 minutes (the workshop was 2.5 hours)...simply because they already knew the steps!

So, apparently I have been channeling Dalia all along and didn't realize it.  Her movements and choreography were so in tune with the way I dance that I was quite giggly tonight over that realization.  It's like finding the mother ship without even knowing that I had one.  Now, my challenge may be to finish the choreography (we only learned about a third) and then see if anyone can spot the authentic "Dalia" moves versus the "Najla" ones.  

Not bad for a white girl

So what would you do if someone asked you to come teach a class that was an Arabic folkloric class to a group of students in an Arabic language/culture program with the possibility of an Arabic professor either watching or participating in the class? For someone like myself who is uber-Caucasian, I had to take a deep breath and say, 'sure, I can do that'. Although I have taken my share of folkloric dance classes and have studied with some really amazing teachers, I really was worried that I would not be able to represent the culture and dance in an appropriate manner. I got the gig from another dancer who had all the confidence in the world in me…but apparently I didn't get that memo. I've taught debke to my students, have done debke in public settings…but I was still a bit worried. So I did what most people would do in this situation. I crammed!

I went on a three day Google/YouTube rampage and downloaded about twenty new songs. Each night I sat at the computer trying to really immerse myself in the dance steps and movements in a short time. The funny thing is, I wasn't learning anything particularly new. There were some nuances I had not considered, some great combinations, some really amazing dancers, but nothing really new. And somewhere in the midst of my self-imposed panic I realized that I did, indeed, know enough to teach this class. Once I allowed myself to recognize my own skills and ability I was able to think about structuring the class like any other class I teach, which is pretty simple. Start with an overview, breakdown basic movements, teach a short combination or two and then practice. *whew* HUGE sigh of relief when that clicked in.

So why all the angst? Not sure…perhaps it had more to do with my perception of my own skills in relationship to this dance style. A couple of years ago, I took a workshop from Michelle Joyce. Not only is she a great dancer, but a really wonderful teacher. Her style and teaching philosophy really resonate with me. At one point she talks about the four stages of learning. The first one she calls, unconsciously incompetent, where we basically think we're hot shit but have no clue how little we know. Then, we move into the consciously incompetent phase where that self-awareness slips in and suddenly we realize that there are a lot of people much better and more skilled than we are. With any luck we move to the unconsciously competent phase where we're hitting our stride but don't quite realize it. And then, it's off to the consciously competent phase where we understand and can appreciate our abilities.

My angst was due to living in that unconscious incompetence stage. Luckily, I realized that a couple days before I taught the class which helped me feel much more relaxed and excited. As it turns out, the class was a group of students who had very little exposure to debke and several of them were, shall we say, rhythmically challenged. What they lacked in one area, they made up for in enthusiasm and exuberance so I had a blast! My favorite part was dancing to the music and feeling completely at home with the movements and music. Score one for the white girl!

Making Faces

Last week I had an interesting conversation with a colleague who suggested that I treated her differently than others in our group. Her feeling was that I should be fair in my comments, conversations and discussions and equally share my thoughts and feelings with everyone. What kept running through my mind was the fact that I do, indeed, think of her in a different manner than others. As a rule, she is much more guarded, more self-conscious and at times more superficial in her comments and observations. There are the cursory greetings and inquiries we trade regarding each other lives, but rarely do we have what I consider an 'honest' conversation where we both let our hair down and share our thoughts and feelings. So yes, I agree…my conversations with her are different than with others because her guarded nature does not compel me to drop my guard either. It is not a matter of fairness, but rather in meeting someone where they are at. And, until she is ready to go deeper, relax and open up I have no desire to go below the surface either.

And, just like it is okay with someone to keep their feelings and emotions tucked away from the public eye, there is nothing wrong with a dancer who just moves through a performance by concentrating on technique alone. It works, it gets the job done…and often times the audience can really appreciate and enjoy the skill and expertise shown. It does however get much more interesting when instead of feeling guarded, a dancer lets go and allows the audience to share her feelings, fears, joys and emotions in her dance. Those are the juicy moments, the soul-baring, soul-searching, beautiful moments that may not be technically precise but emotionally compelling.

I like to think that when I dance, I try to let my guard down…relax…and let the audience share my experience as well. However, when I stop to look at photos of my dancing, it is rare that I find shots that seem to capture what I think that I am thinking! I would love to attribute this to some terrible childhood trauma where I was chased by some domineering photographer who scarred me emotionally for life….but…I cannot. The truth is, when I see a camera, there is a part of my mind that immediately tries to come up with what I consider a 'game face' instead of staying in the moment. I go to a much more superficial place versus letting my guard down and honestly feeling the emotion. I would love to take an acting class at some point in time, in the hope of really working on those facial expressions, but in the meantime I think I have discovered a new practice for myself.

As you may know, I just got a new computer with a built in webcam. I christened the webcam with my first video blog, which was fascinating to create because you get to watch yourself (even mirror image) the entire time. So, I decided to start channeling Tyra Banks and her advice to practice in a mirror for photo shoots and decided to play with the still shots just to see how they would come out. The hardest part was fighting the urge to go fix my hair and makeup and then practice a few times before taking some pictures to upload. Tonight's lesson plan?

Instead of trying to force the emotion or feeling for the photo, I simply allowed myself to relax, let my guard down and simply 'experience' an emotion to see what would happen. So, here's a sneak peak at my new training tool…no makeup, ready for bed, lights off (except for the screensaver which changes color)…and just me.

So, now that I have let my guard down, what do all of you do to practice and improve your ability to emote while performing? Do tell!