February 18, 2008

So much for planning everything.

Okay, although I certainly can embrace ambiguity and uncertainty in life I'll admit I need a healthy dose of order and organization to get me through the week. There is a part of me that likes to mess with rules and order while another part of me that craves the continuity it brings. I've been reading a great book that talks about surrending control and really being in the moment (Eat, Pray, Love), a book I highly recommend! A friend at work had recommended it to me, and said I reminded her of the character who essentially takes a year off to travel to Italy, India and Bali in search of pleasure, duty and balance in her life. I've made it through Italy (and it took all I had not to book a flight imediately), enjoyed hearing her challenges in India (which reminds me I should meditate more) and now we're in Bali. What struck me the most is the fact that this woman (true story) headed off to a country to live and train with a Balinese healer with zero planning or preparation. She didn't have a map, didn't know where she would stay, and didn't even know if this man was still alive and would even consider working with her. Really such a great exercise in letting go...and yes, it did all fall in place for her. It sounds corny, but sometimes if you let go and surrender the Universe does give you what you need.

I really have been trying to trust in that, but lately I've been a little worried about the actual implementation of the idea. I've been teaching Informal Classes since 2001 and keep thinking I should teach outside of UT at some point in time. The logistics have always bogged me down though. Do you find a location and then find the students or do you find the students and then the location? Such a quandry! Well, last fall I had students and decided I've give it a try and quickly found a location that was convienant for me and would suit my needs. Then, I just had to trust that there would be enough students to cover the rent...and make it worthwhile. Well, without any advertising...that was accomplished (and quite quickly). So, I started out in December with some classes and eager to put plans in place for the spring to expand the number of students and really focus on helping my students (and myself) evolve as dancers.

Well, January came and I found out that the studio I was renting may be sold...and I panicked! I thought perhaps I should cancel instead of disappointing students down the road but I really didn't want to go that route. So, I thought I would let go, surrender and trust that the location would just turn up. A few weeks later, I found out that as of the end of February...no more space. Originally I thought I had plenty of time to work things out and I had some secondary plans...but the truth is I really wanted a permanent space of my own (maybe not owning the building...but not teaching at the same venue as another belly dance instructor). Well, most of my plans and options didn't work out and literally today I told myself something better turn up quickly because I was feeling panicky again.

The good news, it did... and before I started calling locations (off of a long list I had made), I got a call instead. (Really, I was just scanning my list and the phone rang!!!!!) And, the call was from my first (and optimal) choice for location, a beautiful studio called Tarrytown Dance. The owner was excited about the idea of me teaching there, there are no other class conflicts...and it's a perfect central location. Whew, what a relief! So, for today at least all I'm feeling is "yeah, Universe", thanks for taking care of me! And...what a nice feeling it is to let go of worrying and find out that everything does take care of itself in the end! Now tomorrow, we'll have to wait and see ;-)

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