Glitter Gives Back

Although we are in the heat of the Texas summer, I know that I’m already dreaming of cooler weather and cabaret dance camp this fall.  For those of you who don’t attend regularly, this is (in my opinion) a must-attend event for belly dancers.  Not only do you have the opportunity to study with amazing and talented instructors, but you also have the chance to bond and share time with other dancers in a beautiful, serene environment.  The Texas hill country has always been the perfect setting for our women’s-only retreat and this year I’m pleased to announce that Bahaia and I are teaming up to organize our first community service project for camp, called “Glitter Gives Back”

We will be making and delivering care packages for women and kids who are victims of domestic abuse and battery and are living in a shelter.  We have the luxury each year at camp to enjoy the beautiful surroundings and wonderful companionship and love of all the women who attend, and I want to take this same love and support and share it with women who are in need.  So, I chose Hill Country Cares, a non-profit association that has been around since 1986 and serves five counties in Central Texas to be the recipients of our service project. 

They provide prevention, intervention, and recovery services for women in need, not only for women who live close to our camp, but often for women who travel much further and are sent there to escape their abuser.  Our goal is to create 50 care packages containing basic hygiene products for women and 15 care packages for children.  These packages will not necessarily be used for women who are currently living at the shelter, but will be handed out to incoming women and kids over the next few months. Originally my plan was for 50 packages (one for each camper), but after talking with the volunteer coordinator about their needs I’m upping the ante a bit and adding some bags for kids. 

Blank bags, all ready to decorate.  And for you with the wild imaginations, it's a green toothbrush holder ladies!

Our care packages will be delivered in canvas tote bags that can be used to store their supplies.  The fun part is that we will decorate all these bags the first night of camp, along with our ritual t-shirt decorating.  I already warned the shelter that there may be a plethora of glitter and sparkles in our bags and they were tickled by the idea of having something fun to share with these women and kids.

We will also have cards to sign (and add personal comments if you wish), and we’ll be taking photos share.  My hope is that we can bring a smile to someone’s face and let them know that despite their immediate crisis, we are sending them strength and love.  I struggle to imagine how someone would feel to flee their home because of violence, and end up at a shelter without their own toothbrush.  So, the goal is to make sure women will have some basic products including shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, razors, toothbrush, toothpaste, soap, and body lotion to call their own.

Basic supplies for the womens' bag

For the kids, the shelter asked for kid-friendly products like toothpaste in fun flavors, bubble bath, and kids’ shampoo.  A basic bag for women will cost around $25, and for kids $15, but with some smart shopping, and creativity I hope we can do more than just a basic bag for everyone, I’m hoping we can add some extra treats!  To see a list of the basic items we’ll be providing, as well as suggestions on additional items to include check out this file. 

Basic supplies for kiddos...any ideas on other things we can add?

If you’re a camper, would-be-camper, or just love the idea, here’s what we need you to do!  We’ll be putting up a link to a PayPal account very shortly where you can donate, or ask friends, family and co-workers to assist.  You can:

• Sponsor the cost of an entire package for either a woman or child.
• Collect financial donations to help off-set costs.  (maybe get creative and do some fundraising)
• Collect product donations (for example, ask your dentist for extra toothbrushes), although this may only work for those of us living close by.  We wouldn't want you flying in with a case of deodorant…that could cause all sorts of problems during the pat down!
• Consider throwing an extra tube of toothpaste, bottle of shampoo, or deodorant into your shopping cart over the new few months.
• Check your house for unopened, products that could be added in addition to the basic needs.  (Keep in mind we’ll have limited space in our bags).  For these little additions, sample sizes will work, we just want to make sure the basic needs are not trial or travel sized.
• Consider bringing a small keepsake or memento that you can add to a bag.  Think about what would make you smile if you found it among your bag of goodies.
•  Brainstorm on ideas for kid’s bags, take up donations from other families in the area, or if you have kids involve them in the process of collecting supplies.  (I’m not a Mom so my ideas are limited.)

We’ll be posting more information as we go, and sending out updates on what we have and what we still need.  I have to say that this project really excites me.  I have been blessed in my life because I have never suffered abuse, violence or rape.  However, I do know many women who have had to deal with these circumstances, and it breaks my heart to know that this happens to women on a frequent basis.  I think that as belly dancers, we understand the strength of our community and our dance and I look forward to sharing that with other women who need that love and support.  I have faith that we can all make this project a success and that our Glitter Gives Back program becomes a well-loved tradition at camp and beyond!

I Dance for My Daughter

I'm pleased to offer up another guest blog post, from one of my long-time students, Tiffany.  And I have to admit I cried at her daughter's first birthday party...off to the side of course, because of how beautiful it is to see her as a Mom. And reading what she wrote left me equally choked up.  Ironically, I had asked if she would write a guest post for me because she is a very talented writer.  I don't know if she realized that I had shared her story of looking into the mirror with Krysta during a very similar exercise, and I still remember that night and how much I wanted Tiffany to really see how beautiful she is.  Besides being smart, talented and funny, Tiffany really is one of the main reasons that I teach, because in the end it is not about how fabulous your hip drop is, but how fabulous you are!  So, enjoy.

Dancing with her daughter ;-)

There are a million and one reasons any woman may choose to study dance.  And for most dancers, that reason is probably not static.  It changes day to day, year to year.  You may plunge into a belly dance class hoping to get ripped abs and obliques, but stay for the fun, friends, and sparkles of it all.  Honestly, I don't remember why I started dancing.  I think it had something to do with the dancers who met in a building I frequented in college - they always looked so happy, I wanted to join but was too timid to approach them.  That's all in the past.  Today I dance for one reason:  my daughter.  

I was always the easy target in school.  The fat kid, the kid who didn't play any sports, the kid who wore the enormous glasses that I picked out from the old man section of the store and was so excited about that my mother didn't have the heart to tell me they were incredibly unflattering.  I was awkward and nerdy and it took nothing to rattle my cage.  In eighth grade a boy told me my legs were so disgusting that I should never wear shorts again.  And I didn't - I'll be 30 next month and I don't own a pair of pants or skirt that shows anything above my shin.  I carried every snicker, every stare, every mean comment in my heart over all those years until I found myself, one cold January evening, in Najla's class.  Just by happenstance, nobody else made it that day.  It was a class of just me and Najla, and she wanted to a very simple exercise.  Walk and look at yourself in the mirror.  That's it.  Walk.  Look yourself in the eyes.  And I couldn't do it.  I had allowed myself to carry all those heartaches so long that my sense of self, my own confidence was so beaten down that I couldn't bear to look at myself in the mirror.  Tears were shed as I realized it wasn't just in this class that I couldn't look at myself.  I hadn't really looked at myself for years.  I wasn't happy with the woman in the mirror, so I just avoided her.  I looked around her, I looked at pieces of her, but I never looked at her. 

This may have been her daughter's first performance!

Coincidentally, it was around this time that my husband and I had decided we were ready to start a family.  Doing this simple exercise, or failing to do it, in my case, set off some sort of enormous foghorn in my head.  I know I open my mouth and hear my mother's voice come out at least once a day.  My daughter, if I had one, would be doing the exact same thing.  What kind of model was I going to be giving her?  Then the horror set in.  Would I hear my sweet little 6 year old playing with her dolls and saying "my arms are flabby"?  Would she protest going to school in shorts because she didn't want to show her fat thighs?  I realized that no matter what kinds of things I told this beautiful, non-existent child, she would mirror what I did, not what I said.  And if I wasn't able to look at myself in a mirror, how could I ever be able to raise a daughter who had the self-confidence and assurance needed to take on this world? 

That day was a turning point.  I realized I have to start loving and accepting myself if I want to teach love and self-acceptance to someone else.  So I started dancing for my unconceived child.  It's a long journey, one that I'm not nearly close to completing, but I'm making progress.  I realize I'm not a natural dancer.  I close my eyes and picture my arms gracefully outstretched, beautifully positioned dancer's hands caressing the air.  I open my eyes and see my arms akimbo like a windswept scarecrow, with what can only be described as "jazz hands" tense and flailing at the end of my wrists.  But that's of little consequence - the point is that I open my eyes and look at myself.  Jazz hands and all.  I'm learning to shake the self-doubt I carried all these years and realize that I'm fabulous. 

Choosing the right hips scarf is always tricky

It took a year and a half, but we finally did conceive that child who was in my thoughts with Najla that evening.  And it was a girl.  And she is the most beautiful, perfect, amazing little person I've ever had the pleasure to know.  As she's entering toddlerhood, I've discovered that she has this incredible inborn sense of confidence.  There's not a timid bone in her body.  She grabs my fingers and just starts running, fully expecting me to tag along on whatever adventure she's dreamed up.  She's never doubted for a moment that she's the most beautiful girl in the room.  It's her world and we're all just living in it.  So I realize I've been given this clay.  This putty that is so perfectly confident and assured from the start.  My job is to model that confidence as an adult.  As she molds herself into a child and then into a woman, the best thing I can do is to constantly tell her she's beautiful.  She already knows that.  My best course of action as a mother is to model what it means to be beautiful as a woman moving through this world.  To show her that life will lash out at you, but you just have to shake it off, hold your head up, and know you're only accountable to those stunning dark eyes you find looking back at you from the mirror.  Every week I get a little refresher course on that subject from Najla.  And so I dance.

It's the same look everyone has while learning zils!

Top Ten Reasons to Come to Tribal Belly Dance Camp

Come to camp!  Come to Tramp!  We'll be spanking our sparkly junk and toasting marshmallows.  And you don't want to miss out on this opportunity. 

Tribal camp this year features Kajira Djoumahna with Black Sheep Belly Dance and is hosted by the lovely and talented Bahaia and the ever-adorable Michelle Manx!

In which she stops to take a breath...

I feel like this year has been a whirlwind of activities, and now we're four months in and finally I'm feeling more grounded, rested and able to catch up on life. It seems like I stepped onto an escalator...and found myself in a different spot. I have lots of pictures to post, videos, links and other inspirations but haven't had the time to sit and work through all of that. So, we'll go with a quick summary in my belly dance life.

• I started the Artist's Way book once again. Well, I started to help facilitate a group who wanted to do the book and got sucked back in. I have to say that the second round has given me much more clarity, inspiration and joy.
• We just finished our second Hip Circle Hafla the last weekend in March, and it was a wonderful success. I am so proud of all my students that I could just burst at any given moment, and I am so happy to have this experience to share with all the wonderful dancers in Austin. Really, I could hug every one of them right now!
• I wished for my classes to fill up and sell out...and as of today, I am almost at that point. I really do think I've hit my stride and built up enough momentum to really move forward with my teaching.
• Including this week's gig at Mirage, I've been booked three times as the head liner for local shows. Two at new venues (one I did last week), and this week at Mirage...my old stomping ground. (or is that shimmy ground...) Seems fitting that I can finally close the show at the venue where I performed my first solo. It's exciting but a little sad since the venue may be going away this summer :-(
• Next weekend I'm teaching my first ever Mother-Daughter belly dance workshop. I was approached with the idea last fall, but got caught up in the 'how'. Then, the lovely Casey stepped in to organize and help promote it. Now, all I have to do is show up!
• This June I will be performing with a live Middle Eastern Band at the Austin Belly Dance Convention (Yeah!!!!!). I've danced to live music before, but more of the drum-circle or fusion style shows. Not classic BD music or traditional formats, and I get a 10 minute set. I'm praying for Alf Leyla as my song choice because I love that song so much. Then, I'm praying that I get through the drum solo successfully.
• I'm working on a whole new belly dance site, that I hope will be as fabulous on line as I have it drawn out to be. I've really been thinking long and hard of what I need now, and what I want the site to grow into.
• I am signed up to take Sahra Saeeda's Journey Through Egypt certification course, starting this month. I love Sahra...love her dancing and when I first saw her I was so new to this dance I could not fully appreciate all the information she had to share. But I'm ready...for a 20 hour workshop at the end of this month to absorb it all.
• I have a birthday this week, and although growing older is a little hard to take at times...I could not feel more blessed in my life as I do now. This feeling, this excitement, this joy...I owe entirely to belly dance, the community that comes with it, and the creative outlet it gives me. And no, this is not just some random, drunken rambling where I declare my love of everything and everyone...it's very heartfelt. So, go hug a belly dancer right now!

And...a little warning...some time in the new future I need to change the web address of this site. Since I'm no longer a part of Troupe Mirage, in all good consciousness I can't keep using that in the web address. I will still use "More than a Mirage" as the blog name, since it seems quite apropos for my situation. I'll keep you posted on that move (and of course invite you to the new site!).

So, that's what I've been up to in a nut shell. I promise to post on each and every one of these things soon :-)

Benefits of Belly Dance: A Short but Sweet List

There are so many benefits of belly dancing. Do a quick Google search and here are some that come up:

• http://www.worldbellydance.com/benefits.html
• http://www.atlantabellydance.com/ProspectiveStudents/ClassHealth.html
• http://www.radhiyataj.com/Physical.html
• http://www.shira.net/heal-phys1.htm

I have so many things I could add to those lists, but here are the ones that keep coming back to me these past few weeks when I look at the impact of this dance on their lives.

1. Healthy happy moms with brand new babies! (and little girls as well)

2. Empowered women who learn to express themselves through this dance.

3. A shared community of friends, to support, encourage, push and above all laugh together!

My new anthem

So what happens when you're told as a belly dancer that there will be a show coming up but the catch is not using belly dance music. Well, the wheels start turning, you consider all the possibilities and then--wham--inspiration hits.

Last fall when Austin Belly Dance Association announced a "Jukebox" belly dance show in January, I was excited about the possibility. My students were more than eager, and their music suggestions were numerous, varied and frankly a little overwhelming. I was torn between something jazzy and a Janet Jackson song when a little bit of serendipity came into play.

The lovely Naima, who's blog I read on a regular basis, posted a video with this song. Seriously, it was like God speaking to me when I watched it (maybe not in such a serious tone)...but it felt like divine inspiration. I've always loved this song and I've always wanted to perform it, but never had the right venue, or the right group of dancers...until now.

So here we are three months later, the show is this Friday and damn! It's been all-consuming, between the practices and the costumes (wow...the costumes...including fedoras), but it has been , uplifting and so inspirational. And yes, I stole several of Michael's moves for the performance (in particular see minute 2:37 below). We've got ten dancers, we're closing a really big show at the Dougherty Arts Center and we're going to kick butt. I've never seen a group of women so excited about what they are performing, wearing, and the amount of cleavage involved.

I've decided this is my anthem for the new year. So if you see me and wonder how I'm feeling, please refer the clip below.

Moving along...

Well, I have five days left in my quest to make a costume in time for a photo shoot. Although it doesn't seem like I'm very far along, I do believe I'm over the hump. Personally, I think the bra construction is really time consuming in order to get a good fit. Once that is done and it's covered, then the decorating can begin. I really should have starting taking pictures from the beginning, but here are a couple of shots so you can see the behind the curtain. The first one is just the back of the bra strap. This, along with the inside of the bra will be lined with felt (so you can sweat in it) at the very end. I tried to make my corner as neat as possible.

Here's the insider of the bra. I just happened to find a pink bra (maybe that was a sign) but really, it could have been any color you just need to worry about shape and fit. The original straps and elastic on the sides have been replaced by buckram and grosgrain ribbon, covered in fabric and then stitched down. Not so pretty on the inside, but very functional. I've also made numerous adjustments to the fit at this stage of the game because it's much harder to do once you've covered it.

The infamous beading? Well, here it is in this photo. The color is a little wonky on the close up but you can see the trim. This is going around the edges of the bra, belt and arm cuffs. The bra, including all edges and lines was about 120 inches of beading. The beads are in sets of six sitting on top of each other in a semi-herringbone pattern. By my calculations, I used over 5,000 seed beads to complete the bra. The belt won't take nearly as much!

Here's a shot of the trim that will be going on the costume. I'm not beading the entire thing, but I have loads of these chains. They are actually rhinestone belts that I snatched up on sale at Kohl's last year (go figure). My plan was to finish adding them to the bra tonight, but I can't seem to find my pliers so that may be tomorrow's plan.

In the meantime, I got my skirt fixed (thanks D'Anne) and received my L-Rose arm bands and belt I'll use on my base. Those should be easy to get through hopefully. Finally, in the absence of trying to bead, I worked on my technique for drawing leopard spots on myself. There's certainly a plan here (not related to the photos), and it's quite fun. In fact, this is the first time I could really imagine myself with a tattoo...hmmm...

Next posts should have some really cool bra photos and perhaps a semi-finished costume!

Counting to six

In an over exuberant moment I decided a few days ago to start on a new costume to wear at a photo shoot scheduled for July 20. It's an impulsive decision, and my right arm is stiff from sewing beads. I feel like this a race to the finish line, and I just hope I make it.

I've written about being in a dance funk, but I haven't written much about the happy things in my life. Among them, a shorter, brighter, sassier hair cut, wonderful dance plans for my students (and myself) this fall, and a professional photoshoot with an amazing artist!

I've wanted photos for quite awhile so when I learned this last week that Pixie was coming to Austin I knew it was time. I've never met her personally but I've seen her dance photos of other dancers and I'm just blown away by her work. She seems to really capture the personality and beauty of each woman. Besides, who wouldn't love someone named Pixie????

Although I have several back up cabaret options, I really wanted something different, something new. I did a little online shopping but didn't really see what I wanted (in a price I was willing to spend right now). Then, I thought about the supplies for a fuchsia costume that have been sitting in my closet for over a year now, and now I'm off on this mad frenzy. For a gal who shunned pink most of her life, I'm feeling quite obsessed about it right now.

I ordered upper arm cuffs and base for the belt from L-Rose on Thursday (because they have matching velvet fabric) and had them do a rush shipment. (Which they did...at no extra cost...yeah!). Friday after the Patsy's show I went bra shopping and found a new base for the bra, tore it apart and reconstructed it in one evening. Saturday I covered the bra in charmeuse satin and velvet ribbon and began beading.

Today (Sunday) I'm still beading, and in fact have spent way too many hours counting out tiny glass seed beads in sets of six just to make the correct edging. If I make it through the next week I'll have a fabulous new costume and no feeling in my right arm. Wish me luck.

P.S. Here's a photo of the bra as of Sunday afternoon, around 4ish. If I can move my arm tomorrow, I'll check back in with everyone.

In honor of Judd's pants

Cottonwood Heights Elementary---late 70's---Salt Lake City, Utah---Fifth grade---Judd Adams. I know we all have those geeky awkward stages of our lives that we'd like to forget but show up through family scrapbooks or now, Facebook posts. I don't need a photo however to recall Judd Adams' pants. They were made out of that dark navy, fake blue jean stretch fabric that was such a rage in those days. Judd's particular pants had extra wide bell-bottoms with red, white and blue flag fabric inserted into the flair on the side. By themselves the pants would have been quite a sight, but on Judd who was very tall, and gangly at that age they seemed to only accentuate his long, angular lines. Now whether or not Judd loved these pants or just didn't have many wardrobe options we may never know but I do remember he wore them quite often.

Now, when I started belly dancing we didn't wear pants, unless they were the harem style. However, with the influence of tribal, fusion and goth styles and the popularity of Melodia-style pants, belly dancers everywhere traded in their requisite chiffon circle skirt for flared or bell bottom pants. Initially I resisted, especially because of my memories of Judd's pants and the fear of looking ridiculous at my age. But I did give in and became very fond of the way these pants flatter and fit all shapes and sizes. Now, my dance wardrobe is not complete without them.

Some of my all-time favorite flare leg pants come from Brandy Bollin with Tribal Evolution in Dallas. I wear them when teaching, and for some of my fusion performances. I was saddened to hear at the Austin Belly Dance Convention that she was taking a break from making the pants. (Okay, I was sad until I found out they were all on sale for $20 each, woo hoo!!!) So, despite my plans for other purchases that weekend I spent a large majority of the weekend in the bathroom trying on every conceivable pair of pants that may fit me and walked away with a nice new stash.

There was one pair I just could not add to the pile. They were dark, heavy, navy-blue stretch fabric and the only difference between these pants and Judd's was the lack of a flag fabric insert. I tried them on several times, but kept putting them in the reject pile. All I could see looking in the mirror was that tall, awkward kid from my past wearing those goofy pants. On the last day, at the last minute, I gave in. In a spontaneous gesture I picked them up, and purchased them simply because I couldn't let such a good deal pass me by.

I'm happy to say I now love my pants, and they may become my staple while teaching classes. I'd also like to think that somewhere right now Judd is telling his kids or friends about these super-cool pants he had in elementary school but still misses to this day. So Judd, wherever you are...I'm keeping the memory alive...but in a much more attractive form!

Connecting to joy

Sometimes we forget at time how much this dance form touches, uplifts and transforms women of all ages. I certainly cannot imagine who I would be today with the dance and the music. Maybe my closet would be a little less shiny, perhaps I’d have a little less credit card debt but I have no doubt I wouldn’t have as many moments of joy and utter happiness.

Last night at the show, one of the guests performed her first solo on our stage. She’s been dancing for several years and has taken from a variety of instructors in town. However, I was her first instructor through UT’s Informal Class program. Every time I see her at belly dance events I’m tickled that she’s stuck with it so long and works so hard at this art.

We were talking at one point and she confided that this dance has been such a boost in her life. I didn’t know until last night that at the time she first started taking classes from me, she was going through a very difficult time in her life. And, the only time she felt happy was in that class, for those few hours and those few weeks.

I was certainly touched, and very impressed that’s she’s come so far. But, I’m not that surprised at her reaction. I think that as women we can become disconnected to our real spirits, our souls and ourselves. If we’re given the chance to let go of distractions and frustrations and focus on moving our bodies in a safe and supportive environment than we can open ourselves to joy…even if it is fleeting. It’s not a matter of disappearing into the music and movement but rather connecting to it on a deeper level. And, if we’re lucky we can take that experience and bring it into other parts of our lives. So, here’s to joy, happiness and lots of shimmies!

The anticipation

Okay, last weekend I did something spontaneous and bought my first costume online. I know, it doesn't sound that dramatic and everyone is doing it anyway...but I took the plunge. It's all because I've been jonesing for a new costume for quite a while and it's difficult to find one I like and that fits well. You could argue that all I needed to do was order something to fit and I'd be set but the truth is I have a hard time visualizing how things will look on me. I also have some difficulty because of the girls*, which complicates costume shopping. So, I only buy costumes that I can try on.

This weekend, the allure was too great and the costume was so pretty...and blue...and I don't have anything blue right now. So, I splurged and bought a beautiful Hanan costume online and I'm worried about how it will fit and look. Will I love it???? Will it love me???? I just want to know, and soon!

They** told me it would ship promptly and even though I know it wasn't sent overnight I was disappointed that it didn't appear yesterday. Today when I came home, again my heart fell when I didn't see a box at my door. However, when I opened my mailbox I found a note saying it did come today but it's sitting at the local post office, aargh!!!! Really, if I had known I would have snuck away from work just to retrieve it.

Now, the anticipation is even worse because it is so close and yet so far away and I have to wait until tomorrow morning and then make a special trip over there to pick it up. And all I can wonder is if it lonely right now, and is it looking forward to meeting me as well?

*One of these days I'll do a post on the 'girls'; some people who know me have already met them...not everyone will be that lucky though.

**If I'm happy I'll tell you who 'they' are, but I may not...especially if I want another one (which I already do).

Imagine the Possibilities

There is nothing like the promise of a new costume to send dancers into a tizzy. We are in the process of picking out one color (yes, just one right now…) to order some skirts, gauntlets and tops for the troupe. Here are the samples of the fabrics we received from L-Rose. I put them on the cards for easy viewing (and not to lose any), and the photo cannot do justice to the beauty of them in person.

I don’t have an actual photo of us looking at the samples, but I wish I did. You would see us huddled together, lovingly examining each small sample. We all had to touch, hold and caress each little square of fabric. And, when one of us would suggest a color choice a collective chorus of ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ went up, as if a world of opportunity was contained within each small square. The process is delightful, but the product will be absolutely yummy...I'm sure of it.

All things happy

I really am still very new at this whole blogging thing, and like most other things in my life I just started doing it (literally one evening)...then bothered to figure out the details. In this regard, I am so much more like a man, I don't read maps (or bring them along), I don't read instructions and I obviously wait until later in the game at time to ask for directions. On a basic level I know that if you want your blog to be read by people you have to do a little marketing, include links, get yourself listed on other blogs...and oh my gosh so many other things. At first I thought that the labels portion of my blog would allow me to help market the blog (and things related to the troupe) better. So, at first all of my labels referenced the very same things:

• Mirage


• Troupe Mirage


• Belly Dance


• Austin


• Middle Eastern Dance
  

Do you get the picture????? I was adding keywords to all my posts thinking this would help in the great netherworld that is the Internet. Well, now that I've thrown together several blogs, I've started reading and taking note of what others are doing and it just dawned on me this weekend that the label section is just a method for me to categorize my posts in case someone wants to search through them by topic not just by date! Duh!!!!! (My favorite example of categories is on http://www.dooce.com/ ) So, now I'm trying to go re-label everything I've done and figure out if there is some system or method to my posts (short answers is no) and do I have logical categories I want to build on (maybe).

Which brings me to the topic of my newest label "All things happy". I have one post for this label (my zil saga) because I couldn't think of a more appropriate category. So now, in addition to the pressure of finding things to blog on (is that the correct term?) and taking photos to enhance my blog (I am the most random photographer...) do I need to worry about fleshing out each category in advance or just let them organically grow and develop? Whew, it's a lot to think about. So, here's my attempt at hitting all three worries in one blog:

Hip scarves with coins; always a happy thing!

There is a trend out there to not wear jingly, hip scarves in class. Well, although I may do that when I'm taking a workshop for myself...I just can't bring myself to give them up while teaching. Why you may ask?

1. It helps me tell if the students hip movements and shimmies are consistent,


2. I can see what they are doing at a glance during class,


3. They really do frame your hips and tush nicely, and


4. The sound is one of the most delightful, joyful noises you can hear on any given day!

Yeah Zils!

A little ray of sunshine came back into my life this evening...I found my bag of zils. Wow, what a relief! If you're not familiar with the term, zils or finger cymbals are used as musical accompaniment for dancers. You can either play them along with the rhythm of the music, use them to create accents that don't exist or add a little musical flair to your performance. And, in case you weren't aware my zils have been missing for about a week.

It seems that dancers either love or hate zils, and there isn't much of a middle ground. They either love to play them or grudgingly put them on because audiences expect it when watching belly dancing. Personally, I used to despise them...and dreaded any time I had to take them out to play. The first time I had to use them on stage was just horrifying, and I do believe the only tape of that performance has thankfully disappeared forever. I found out that when I had to actually dance with them, I was unable to make any distinct notes if my hands were more than a couple of inches apart from each other...not conducive to a good performance!

Over time I have come to terms with my zils, and actually embrace playing them. I don't usually solo with the zils, but if you ask me to pick them up and play...no worries. I think I started to embrace zils after joining Mirage, where it's a guarantee we'll start each show playing zils. That experience combined with teaching informal classes really made me face my zil-playing fear...and I made it through stronger, smarter and more in tune with my inner zil-child. And, now I know…I do love them. It really is true; you don’t know how much you love something until you risk losing it.

It’s been tough for me...I'd already lost one pair of zils this past year, and I finally just ordered a pair to replace them. It took almost an entire year to get over that loss (silver Saroyans) because I loved how pretty and shiny they were; the weight of them; the coolness of the metal and their lovely clear, clean tones. Although I knew where to get another pair, I felt that I was admitting defeat, utter loss by going out and replacing them...but when I was faced with the loss of all my zils, I started clinging to the hope that if I got one pair back, the rest would follow.

And follow they did. I'm still waiting for my new silver zils (darn post office...they didn't come in the mail today), but I found my precious bag of zils, yeah! I have spent the last week searching, calling, seeking and hoping for my little bag of zils to turn up with no luck. I’ve called lost and found at the Union and at UT, searching through all my bags and in my car…with no luck. My biggest fear was that I had left them inadvertently at UT when I was teaching last weekend, and someone picked them up...liked the bag (it’s a cutie) and tossed out the contents. I don't typically lose keys, bags, purses, etc. so I’ve been upset with the fact that I was preoccupied or simply lazy and left my sweet little bag all alone. I worried that I let my zils down…despite the fact they’ve always been there for me…even when I didn’t love them unconditionally.

As it turns out, the bag had fallen out of another bag, and dropped behind a cushion that a cat had subsequently sat on. My little bag of zils was just hidden out of sight, but still safe and sound and in my possession the entire time. So, here I sit happy and content to have my bag back and the three sets of zils they contain. For the record, it's one pair of brass Saroyan Pros, brass Nefertiti and my very first (and dearest set of zils), the little Arabesque's that I learned to play on. *sigh*